Am I a bad mom because I make my son sit on the potty when he needs to pee? I mean he has the rest of his life to stand and pee, so will it really hurt him if he just sits for a year or two? I have tried to let him stand and pee, and it always turns out disastrously. And he pees often. No matter how many times we tell him to aim at the water, he likes to see what else he can hit. He's peed on the seat, the lid, the floor, the wall and last night, he even hit the shower curtain. Then if he does get it in the water like he's supposed to, when he's done, he still dribbles on the seat. I love him, and I know he's only two, so I can't get angry. It's just frustrating having to clean up so much pee.
Going back to my original question...no. I don't think I'm a bad mom because I want my son to sit on the potty until he can control his pee stream. Some people may think it's selfish or slack. Whatever they think...I don't care. Over the past two years I have been amazed at how competitive moms are. We want our children to hit all the milestones early so we can proudly announce to family and friends how advanced our little ones are. I am guilty too.
When we took Grayson to the doctor today, the doctor commented on how alert he was for a four-day-old infant. As soon as he said it, I was like "yes." My baby is going to be a super awesome genius baby. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I wanted to slap myself. My son isn't even a week old yet, and I am already wanting him to be a genius. Seriously, what is my problem? I don't want to be one of those moms. I don't have time to be one of those moms.
Yes, I want my kids to be successful - smart, athletic, outgoing, loving, compassionate, etc - however, I am not willing to pit myself against other moms in some ridiculous competition. I want to be a good mom, and for now in order for me to be a good mom, I need to be sane. If that means making my son sit on the potty, then what's the big deal? Grandparents may not like it, other moms may make comments about it behind my back...so be it. The less time I have to spend cleaning up pee, the more time I have to play with my kids and pour my love and energy into them.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Lessons from a Newborn
Our third child under the age of three is here! Grayson was born Monday afternoon, and I have spent the past three days falling in love with our newest angel. During the pregnancy I was worried I wouldn't be able to love the new baby as much as I loved the twins. I thought my heart's capacity to love was at its maximum, but I was totally wrong.
Not only have I fallen in love with a new child, but I have fallen even more in love with my husband who has been by my side all week. I will never forget his face when he proudly announced to me that we had another boy. When he lit up, I knew he was not worried about the financial expenses or the inconveniences of raising a third child. He was just in love with his new son.
Finally, seeing my older children react to the new baby has made me love them even more. Their immediate acceptance of their little brother has shown me how loving they are. Although I realize the transition may not be as smooth once they experience the change at home, I am just thankful that they seem willing to accept the change.
Isn't it funny how God knows us better than we know ourselves? He has once again fulfilled the desires of my heart before I even realized the desire was there. He gave me the third child I always said I wanted (before I had the first two). Through this new gift, He has already brought our family closer together. All of my fears about our family changing have been replaced by the excitement about all the memories we are going to make. Instead of interrupting our family of four, Grayson has completed our family of five.
Through Grayson, God has shown me that there is no limit to our ability to love. It's a simple concept but a powerful revelation for me.
On my last post, I wrote that I could understand what would make a woman consider having an abortion, but every time I look into Grayson's eyes, feel his hands grasp my finger, or feel his heart beating under my palm, I am reminded why abortion is so wrong. He, like every other child, is a human being - a life not only created, but handcrafted by God to make an impact in this world. And I'm the one God trusted to bring him into this world. Wow....
Not only have I fallen in love with a new child, but I have fallen even more in love with my husband who has been by my side all week. I will never forget his face when he proudly announced to me that we had another boy. When he lit up, I knew he was not worried about the financial expenses or the inconveniences of raising a third child. He was just in love with his new son.
Finally, seeing my older children react to the new baby has made me love them even more. Their immediate acceptance of their little brother has shown me how loving they are. Although I realize the transition may not be as smooth once they experience the change at home, I am just thankful that they seem willing to accept the change.
Isn't it funny how God knows us better than we know ourselves? He has once again fulfilled the desires of my heart before I even realized the desire was there. He gave me the third child I always said I wanted (before I had the first two). Through this new gift, He has already brought our family closer together. All of my fears about our family changing have been replaced by the excitement about all the memories we are going to make. Instead of interrupting our family of four, Grayson has completed our family of five.
Through Grayson, God has shown me that there is no limit to our ability to love. It's a simple concept but a powerful revelation for me.
On my last post, I wrote that I could understand what would make a woman consider having an abortion, but every time I look into Grayson's eyes, feel his hands grasp my finger, or feel his heart beating under my palm, I am reminded why abortion is so wrong. He, like every other child, is a human being - a life not only created, but handcrafted by God to make an impact in this world. And I'm the one God trusted to bring him into this world. Wow....
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Just the Beginning
Just when I didn't think my life could get any more interesting, it happened. I was just beginning to find some sort of balance in my life. I was mothering one-year-old twins, working full time as a teacher, and serving again with my husband in youth ministry after an extended absence due to the birth of the twins. Then it happened. One missed period. I waited for it to come. I prayed for it to come. I lost sleep hoping it would come. It never came. What did come was news that would change my life, my husband's life, and my kids' lives forever....I was pregnant again.
We found out about our third child just two months before our twins turned two. We had just gotten to a point where we felt like we could manage them. Looking back, I wonder if that's why God decided we needed another one...because we thought "we" were managing things just fine. Anyway, whatever the reason I had to learn how to cope with the implications. Although I do not and never will support a woman's "right" to abort an unborn fetus, I can now relate to the emotions that must be the driving force behind such a decision.
After months of crying, praying and seeking God, I have come to terms with this next phase of my family's life. On the eve of the new baby's birth, I am eager to meet him/her. I can honestly say I look forward to holding him/her in my arms....I couldn't have said that a few months ago. Sad, huh?
Although I know my honesty may make me seem like a bad mom or a bad person, my blog is going to be my honest thoughts. This blog is part of my survival plan. It's a form of release for me. I hope my honesty will make you think, laugh, maybe cry, but if not, that's okay. This is my story, and I am telling it for my sanity.
We found out about our third child just two months before our twins turned two. We had just gotten to a point where we felt like we could manage them. Looking back, I wonder if that's why God decided we needed another one...because we thought "we" were managing things just fine. Anyway, whatever the reason I had to learn how to cope with the implications. Although I do not and never will support a woman's "right" to abort an unborn fetus, I can now relate to the emotions that must be the driving force behind such a decision.
After months of crying, praying and seeking God, I have come to terms with this next phase of my family's life. On the eve of the new baby's birth, I am eager to meet him/her. I can honestly say I look forward to holding him/her in my arms....I couldn't have said that a few months ago. Sad, huh?
Although I know my honesty may make me seem like a bad mom or a bad person, my blog is going to be my honest thoughts. This blog is part of my survival plan. It's a form of release for me. I hope my honesty will make you think, laugh, maybe cry, but if not, that's okay. This is my story, and I am telling it for my sanity.
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